Simply put, communication is a means of exchanging information
between people. Be it in your relationship, within your family, at your place
of work or among business acquaintances, and sometimes even within yourself,
you basically live and breathe by communicating. One way or the other you
communicate with people every day. But communication is not just about talking (verbal)
and listening, it goes beyond that, it also involves other non-verbal language
like hand gestures and general body language. The biggest challenge in
communicating is to make sure that the message received is also the message
intended. Therefore the essence of good communication skills cannot be over
emphasized.
Sometimes while trying to pass a message across we
say one thing but our body language says another and unfortunately people tend
to focus on the body language than the verbal so it’s important that our body
language is in tune with what we are trying to say so as to give a perfect
picture of the message because real communication is the message received not
the message intended.
To master the art of communication, information
needs to be exchanged correctly and this simply involves speaking and listening.
Let’s highlight some of the key points below;
SPEAKING
·
Positive speaking
·
Skilled communicator
·
Give good information
·
Cooperative communication
·
Body language
LISTENING
·
Ask questions
·
Active listening
·
Effective listening
·
Don’t assume
·
Align speaker’s body language with
message
SPEAKING
Positive
speaking is a basic rule if you want to live a positive
life, or you need favours, it can also come in handy if you’re attending an
interview. Basically the following qualities should be a part of you.
Be cheerful and greet people politely.
Smile while you are at it, everyone loves a smile
and it’s free. People who smile are happier than those who don’t. Smiling
releases a chemical in your brain that makes you feel good. It’s a great way to
establish rapport with your listeners.
Try to call people by their first name, always
sounds nice when someone calls your name.
Be friendly and helpful, to make a friend you have
to be a friend.
Be cordial and do things with genuine pleasure.
Be generous with praise and cautious with criticism.
Be genuinely interested in people, you can like
almost anybody if you try.
Be considerate with the feelings of others.
Be available to give service, what counts most in
life is what we do for others.
If you can add a good sense of humour, a big dose of
patience, and some humility then you are on your way.
Skilled
communicator – The way you communicate with others
and with yourself ultimately determines the quality of your life. It takes a
skilled communicator to pass a message across perfectly and also receive the
message that’s been passed across. A skilled communicator has sound communication
skills in areas like; listening, speaking and writing, reading, observing, assertiveness,
reproducing effectively and aligning non-verbal signs with the message passed
across.
Giving
good information – This simply involves being clear,
concise, correct, courteous, and concrete. In order to give good information,
the message should not be ambiguous, endeavour to be as clear as possible and
make sure you keep the message not only correct but also short and simple. Sometimes
when you talk too much, the message is lost. The first ingredient in a
conversation is truth, if the conversation lacks truth then you are starting on
the wrong note and that communication has a shaky foundation. When you have
nothing to say, be silent, whatever you say should be better than silence.
Cooperative
communication tries not to sound pushy, instead of ordering
people around make a request. Avoid saying “you will have to go there tomorrow”
instead say “could you or would you be able to go there tomorrow”. Focus on
solutions not problems, replace “you failed again” with “how do we ensure you don’t
fail again”. Turn “can’t”s into “can”s. Simply put, be positive.
Body
language is a means of non-verbal communication which is a
process of sending and receiving wordless messages. It can be expressed
consciously or unconsciously in the presence of the receiver who also
interprets it consciously or unconsciously. Sometimes it is not what you say that
matters but how you say it; action they say speaks louder than words. All of
our non-verbal behaviours send strong messages; the gestures we make, the way
we sit, how fast or how loud we talk, how close we stand, how much eye contact
we make.
The ability to understand and use non-verbal
communication is a powerful tool that will help you; connect with others,
express what you really mean, navigate challenging situations, build better
relationships at home and work. The non-verbal signals you send can produce a
sense of interest, trust and desire for connection or they generate
disinterest, distrust and confusion. It all boils down to your body language.
When the verbal and non-verbal language disagrees, it’s just natural people
will believe the non-verbal.
Body language combined with vocal tone can override
or even cancel the meaning of the words we say. Once again make sure your mouth
and your body are sending the same signal. Individual gestures can indicate
more than one thing (crossed arms can indicate anger, being cold or insecurity).
Body
language tips
Eye contact helps you carry your message to each
person in the audience. It builds trust.
Hand gestures. Learn to speak with your hands. Draw
lines in the air, make a point, count on your fingers, and emphasize length and
width.
Work on appearing sincere and comfortable.
Let your hands do what they want to do, as long as
they don’t get in your pockets, fiddle with an object, or make obscene gestures
to your audience.
Your body posture affects your emotions and how you
feel determines your posture. If you are confident, happy and ready, your body
will show it.
...to be continued
